Rock Hard Sword 2: Diamond Hard Erection
by Lordoftheslice
Summary: OMG THE EVIL BO-NAR HAS BECOME KIND OF MIDDLE EARTH AND KIDNAPPED ALL IT'S LOVELY LADIES! Read the latest **EROTIC** lord of the rings fanfic by Lordoftheslice! OMG DUDE, MAN JUICE GETS SPRAYED EVERYWHERE! AND THERE ARE BOOBS AND OTHER GREAT STUFF TO! WESTSIDE!


Rock Hard Sword 2: Diamond Hard Erection

So check this fucking shit out. In our last story, the evil Bo-Nar totally sprayed like, 12 gallons of Man juice in Rock Hard Swords face causing him to have a heart attack and die. The whole fucking world was totally bummed, there hero just died and there was no hope for saving Middle earths bitches. There was a funeral, it was so awesome man, Elton John even sang at it. Rock hard sword was buried 6 feet under, and life as people knew it, went back to Normal.

27 Years later...

Bo-Nar is King...

Elven Bitches, Hobbit Bitches, Human Bitches, Dwarf Bitches... All Bitches were captured and held prisoner in Bo-Nars evil castle.

GOD DAMN BO-NAR SUCKS SO BAD MAN, HE'S SO NOT COOL. THE QUILATY OF LIFE FOR ALL OF THE RACES WENT TOTALLY DOWN MAN, WOMEN WERENT HAPPY CAUSE BO-NARS WEINER WAS TOTALLY WEAK, AND DUDES WERENT HAPPY BECAUSE THEY HAD NO ONE TO HAVE SEX WITH! SOME OF THEM TURNED TO HAVING SEX WITH SHEMALES... WHICH IS LIKE A HERION ADDICT HAVING TO SWITCH TO METHADONE, SURE IT MAY GET YOU BY, BUT IT'S NOT THE SAME. THE WORLD NEEDED VAGINA AND ALL THE WORLDS VAGINA WAS OWNED BY BO-NAR, TOTALLY WEAK.

One man though...would not stand for this. His name was Strawberry Shield.

Strawberry shield was Rock Hard Swords biggest fan, when Rock Hard died, it totally bummed him out. Strawberry knew that the evil Bo-Nar would take over the world and steal all it's Majestic Vaginas. Shortly after Rock Hard Swords funural, Strawberry Shield, then 3 Years old devised a plan. Strawberry stacked about 150 Concrete blocks on top of Rock Hard swords grave, then he went to train...and for 27 years...he would train, he got pretty ripped, nothing like Rock hard but defantly pretty good. Strawberry Shield was also a Math genius, he knew that by compressing rock hard swords body with the concrete blocks, over time, it would transform his body to a MOTHER FUCKING DIAMOND AND TOTALLY SEND SHOCK WAVES THROUGH IS OLD ASS DECOMPOSING BODY KICK STARTING HIS MOTHER FUCKING HEART AND BRINGING MIDDLE EARTHS HERO BACK TO LIFE!

OMFG IT WORKED TO SON! THAT SHIT FUCKING WORKED AND ROCK HARD SWORD EXPLODED FROM 6 FEET UNDER GROUND BACK TO THE SURFACE OF THE EARTH ALIVE AND WELL AND STRAWBERRY SHIELD AND HIM TOTALLY TALKED ABOUT EVERYTHING AND HE GOT ROCK HARD UP TO SPEED ON WHAT HAS HAPPENED IN THAT 27 YEARS AND THEN THEY AGREED TO GO ON A QUEST TOGEATHER TO FREE ALL OF MIDDLE EARTHS BITCHES SO THE WORLD CAN BE HAPPY AGAIN! OMG YES!

(Starwberry Shield) So no one knows where Bo-Nars castle is, we have to find it to free up da tang.

(Rock Hard Sword) Dude, while I was dead down there, I read this artical in Elven bitches weekely and saw a secret code in there that said something about a barmaid in the Elven city of slutgar.

Rock Hard and strawberry jumped in a 1974 Pinto with 22 inch rims and mexican music playing and drove to the Elven city of Slutgar.

(Barmaid) You guys need a room?

(Rock Hard Sword) Do you need 2 massive, throbbing, veiny cocks deep insaide your Vagina, ass and mouth?

(Barmaid) Yes I do, and I want you guys to fill all 3 of my holes with as much creamy man juice as you possibly can, I'f its not enough, then I wont tell you what you want to know.

(Strawberrd Shield) WAIT! how did you know we needed info on where Bo-Nars castle is?

(Barmaid) I very much enjoy eating duck eggs with turkey bacon and orange juice for breakfast. Will you please go to wal-mart and buy me some great value brand toliet paper.

(Rock Hard Sword) I think there toliet paper is the Equate brand actually?

(Strawberry Shield) Naw im pretty sure it is great value, eather way its pretty good for the price, would you like a butterscotch candy?

Rock Hard and strawberry went home for 3 days and didnt touch there weiners at all, it was hard but they let as much seamen build up in there balls as humanly possible. then they went back to Slutgar and fucking double team, power fucked that elven whore. They totally licked her boobs and stuff. Her nips tasted like pepermint patties and they slapped her titties around alot. Then they BOTH went to brown town and double teamed her ass, she was an experanced whore and took both there cocks in her ass with ease. Strawberrys cock was awesome, but Rock hard swords cock was magnifacent and Mighty.

(Barmaid) TEAR THROUGH MY VAGINAL WALL!

(Strawberry) Rock hard...ENGAGE THE DOUBLE STUFF!

FUCKING ROCK HARD SWORD AND STRAWBERRY SHIELD FUCKING RAMMED THERE COCKS DEEP INSIDE HER VAGINA AND MOUTH RESPECTIVLY WHILE IN DOGGIE, THEY FUCKING PUSHED SO HARD THAT THERE MASSIVE, AWESOME MOTHER FUCKING COCKS ENDED UP TOUCHING TIP TO TIP AND THEY FUCKING NUTTED! THE FORCE OF THE MASSIVE DOUBLE CUM BLAST FUCKING TORE THAT FUCKING ELVEN BITCHES STOMACH (NOTE TO READER: there cocks ended up touching tip to tip at about her stomach region) APART! BUT IT WAS TOTALLY OK BECAUSE SHE HAD STOMACH PROBLEMS AND THE SUPER DEEP PENATRATION AND SUB-SA-QUINT SEAMEN BLAST ACTUALLY CURED HER.

(Strawberry shield) Did we pump enough man juice inside of her?

(Rock Hard Sword) We can only pray...

(Barmaid) Yes...yes you did... The castle is near Taco Bell on west elm street.

(Rock Hard Sword) Thanks, ttyl bee otch. thanks for the vagina, ass, mouth and armpit.

Rock Hard Sword and Strawberry Shield walked to the front door when Starberry rlized something... 

(Rock Hard Sword) I see it in your eyes...whats wrong strawberry?

(Strawberry Shield) Rock Hard...The castle...  
(Rock Hard Sword) Yeah, what about it?

(Strawberry Shield) Whats in it?

(Rock Hard Sword) Huh, duh dude, all of Middle Earth bitches...

(Strawberry Shield) If thats the case, whos this bitch we just fucked...

(Rock Hard Sword) OH MY GOD NYOOOOOOOOOOO!

THE FUCKING ELVEN BITCH TOOK OFF HER MASK TO REVEAL... MAGIC JOHNSON!

(Strawberry) OH MY GOD ITS MAGIC JOHNSON, HE HAS AIDS! WE HAVE AIDS! NOOO GOD NOOO!

(Rock Hard Sword) OH MY FUCKING GOD ITS A NIGHTMARE, WE HAD SEX WITH A MAN!

(Strawberry) WHOS CARE ABOUT THAT WE HAVE AIDS NOW MAN!

(Rock Hard Sword) OH MY GOD I FUCKED A MAN!

ROCK HARD SWORD AND STRAWBERRY SHIELD NEVER MADE IT TO THE CASTLE AND NEVER SAVED ALL OF MIDDLE EARTHS BITCHES AND THEY FUCKING DIED AGAIN AND LIKE NOBODY EVER EVEN KNEW THAT ROCK HARD SWORD HAD COME BACK TO LIFE OR THAT HE WAS TRYING TO SAVE ALL THE WORLDS WHORES, AND LIKE FUCKING BO-NAR DIDNT EVEN KNOW EITHER AND JUST WENT ABOUT HIS BUISNESS AS USUAL. HAVE A NICE DAY, I LIKE SMALL SLICES OF CHEESE.!

The End


End file.
